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Saturday, April 23, 2011 1:30 PM

I'm really lost. JC life is so fast and everything is zooming past me. Remember when we were young, everything was as easy as A,B,C. But now everything is so different and so much more difficult. Math is killing me by the seconds. I can feel every inch of me squirming when I go for math lecture. I want to understand, I try to understand but I just fail to understand. It's like I don't get it, why are we learning all this when we all know this isn't going to help me in the future. Honestly, sometimes I do wish that I went to poly instead. The stress in NJC is killing me. I may look like I'm coping well but in actual fact, I'm dying slowly. I'm not that strong or smart after all.

When we were in Secondary school, I had this mentality that I was smart, so did my parents and my sister. But it turns out that I'm not. I'm one of those that has been spoon-fed by the teachers with ways/methods and answers. I'm like a robot, once things change I can't do it anymore. I just feel like quitting everything and do something that I really enjoy. On the other hand, I don't want to disappoint my family and myself. How contradicting.

Volunteering at ACS Barker and seeing all the young kids there playing/studying/sleeping/fighting makes me nostalgic. It's so ironic that when we were young, we always wanted to be older and have freedom. But now that we're older, we want to be a young kid and be so carefree without worries. Cycle of life is so short yet we're immersing ourselves in pointless stuff. I really want to take a break from Singapore and just leave and never come back. A society that places merits above everything. I would rather live somewhere else than here. I would rather be something else than a human. I would rather be a child forever than an adult.

Thursday, April 7, 2011 8:06 PM


I've been listening to this song called "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele. I love the song's lyrics. It tells a story and a very meaningful one as well.


There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark,

Finally, I can see you crystal clear,
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare,
See how I'll leave with every piece of you,
Don't underestimate the things that I will do,

There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark,

The scars of your love remind me of us,
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
I can't help feeling,

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside of your hands,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
And you played it to the beat,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

Baby, I have no story to be told,
But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn,
Think of me in the depths of your despair,
Make a home down there as mine sure won't be shared,

The scars of your love remind me of us,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
I can't help feeling,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside of your hands,

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/rolling-in-the-deep-lyrics-adele.html ]

(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
And you played it to the beat,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

Could have had it all,
Rolling in the deep,
You had my heart inside of your hands,
But you played it with a beating,

Throw your soul through every open door,
Count your blessings to find what you look for,
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold,
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown,

(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
We could have had it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
It all, it all, it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside of your hands,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
And you played it to the beat,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),

Could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside of your hands,

But you played it,
You played it,
You played it,
You played it to the beat.




JC life is super hectic and busy. Everyday I just feel like going to bed right after I get back from school. Gotta do PW...

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